Is it just me or is the population getting older? Is it just me or are others like me getting older?
Is it just me or is there just so much a person can accumulate?

Two things have happened in the last week that have caused me to pause. My mother-in-law died about a week ago. I know that she felt very close to her "things." She hated the fact that people not sympathetic with her possession would go through her possessions, discarding those that had a special meaning and putting them outside below a giant "Yard Sale" sign.

I would like to take every single thing she collected and bring those items home with me. I am, however, in the process of lightening my load, not ballooning it.

This week I also "lost" a treasured bracelet. The bracelet was sterling silver. It was dated 1912. Called a "friendship bracelet, it was made out of sterling silver. Shortly after the turn of the century, it seems that friends gave each other links engraved with names and dates. These links were put together with a velvet ribbon until enough were available to fashion into a bracelet. I had my aunt Sister's" bracelet and I can't put a price on the value of it. I thought it would never fall from my wrist. (I don't think it did. I think if I keep looking, I will find where I took it off to shower or sleep and my precious bracelet will be restored to me.)

Just now I was cleaning off the huge stack of "to read" books on my bedside table. Hopefully I opened a pewter box. "Maybe I put the bracelet in that box.....Maybe, please, maybe!!!" The box was empty and I am still searching.

Which brings me to ask the question: Is the actual posessions of our loved ones or the memories that are so important?

I have learned my lesson. In the future I will take pictures of the things I treasure and write about them. I will secure those memories in a safe place and no longer hoard objects that can be lost, blown by the winds of chance, or abandoned by those who have no idea why they have meaning.

Respectfully,

Kathy Albers

Oh, Kathy, I so understand what you are saying.
My darling mom has Alzheimer's (she's 82) and my brother nad I finally moved her from her home to a private Adult care home near me. It's wonderful, because instead of a two-hour trip each way, it's only 20 minutes, and I can visit her often. And I know she is safe and well-cared for.

However, we are putting her house on the market. Let's just say mom has a lovely 2500 square foot home, stuffed with 5,000 square feet of, well.....stuff! I mean, she didn't part with anything. Some of it's good stuff, some of it's junk. It has taken my brother and I four months to clean out the house. He would not allow me to have an estate sale, because he said maybe one of the kids might want something someday! It was so heartbreaking to go through my mom's belongings, trying to keep what is precious to us, and give away that which is not.
My brother and I finally had our children and spouses make a list of items they would like. My two girls chose small things, like a game they played with their grandfather when they were little, or a teacup/saucer of my grandmother's. Little things, with lots of memories attached. On the other hand, my brother's wife placed every single piece of furniture on her list. And there was a LOT of furniture. My brother and I took turns choosing from our lists. My girls and I have the mementos we want, and my brother took all of the rest. And has to put a ton of it into storage. Of course, we kept all the family pictures, dating back to the 1800's, letters, momentos, and such. I have 13 plastic tubs filled with history of five different branches of our family. That should keep me busy for awhile.

Yesterday, I found a beautiful piece of embroidery with a note from my great-aunt to my mother, telling her that it was done by my great-grandmother around 1898 or 1899. It had been sitting in somebody's drawer for over a hundred years! I'm having it framed, and hanging it in my living room.

My daughters have told me "Mom, please don't ever do this to us. Please label the keepsakes and provide their history, so we will know which things to keep and which ones to give away. And please don't collect just to collect".
Now, for their birthdays or Christmas gifts, I give them something personal of mine, or their grandmother's or great-grandmother's that I know they will like.

I've learned a great lesson. Simplify Now! And if an item hasn't seen the light of day for years, unless it's family history to be passed on, it's going to the Good Will!

Now, if I could just get my dear husband to part with some of his stuff

Dear FB,

Maybe it was not "chance" that caused me to write this column. My mother said that she didn't want her "stuff" to be at any "garage sale" and we honored her request.

TAKE PICTUES. RECORD THE MEMORIES. It is, after all, the memories that are important, not the "stuff."

Thank you for sharing these personal, soul bearing revelations.

Kathy

Possession you can give to your children. Memories, unless you record them, are gone.

A long time ago I began to record the memories of my mother, my father-in-law, and anyone else in the family that had a great stroy. I have been keeping a family history of anecdotes, and added many of mine.

Someday, I'm gong to give it to my children.

When I an my wife got married, my mother gave her a silver bracelet my Grandfather bought and gave to my grandmother on their wedding night. It is a treasrue.